Why go around a giant mountain when you can go straight up it & other lessons from Middle Earth

Last weekend we had the really neat experience of hiking Mt Mulanje 

It's rumored that this is where J.R.R. Tolkien found inspiration for Middle Earth (see this article for more info) and even though his grandson claims he rarely left the British Isles I like the rumor so I’m just going to go ahead and perpetuate it.

~~So yeah, it is where Tolkien was inspired~~

It's beautiful for a lot of reasons, but my favorite is the mist that covers everything and all the beautiful shades of green. 

During the rainy season it is super dangerous and even during the dry season the most experienced of hikers have to go with a guide (something about people getting lost/dying)

I don’t think it really counts as backpacking because each night we slept in the cool house/hut things built along the trails (complete with fireplaces so I guess you could say they were pretty luxurious) but we did carry backpacks on our backs so we were at least halfway there.

One of the cool/terrifying things about the whole experience is that for whatever reason (my ignorance doesn’t mean it wasn't a good one, of course) the people who built the trails decided they didn’t believe in switchbacks and why would we go around a giant mountain when we could just head right on to the top?!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about efficiency.

But this was a whole new level.

As we climbed/bouldered/scurried/scrambled/slipped up the side of the mountain I couldn’t help but watch our guide in wonder and think that his spirit animal just had to be a mountain goat.

go ahead and take a "peak" at us 

Guys, I’ve got some pretty strong legs (shout out to my mama for these babies) but there were many a time where I thought for sure that they would just give out.

But, alas, they didn’t (which is almost a bummer because falling down the side of a mountain in Africa would make a great story) and I was continually impressed with our whole group as we just headed right on up

~thoughts caused by thin mountain air & a lot of time~

We spent about 2 ½ days walking walking walking so I had some time to think (always dangerous). 

As we went along I couldn't help but notice how often I stared at the shoes of the person in front of me.
So I came up with this (not-yet-comprehensive) list

The perks/dangers of looking down while you hike:

Perks:

1. don’t trip/fall off the mountain/die

2.see where the person in front of you is going (see danger #2) and follow their interpretation of what the easiest path may be

3. avoid looking up and seeing how much farther you have to go (see danger #3)

which leads to:

a.     be pleasantly surprised when you actually reach the top

Dangers:

1. miss out on something really beautiful that you could only see if you were looking up

2. see where the person in front of you is going but then maybe miss out on an easier/better/more exciting way

3. when you do actually look up and become very aware of how much farther you have to go and then must battle the sneaking thoughts that you will just never make it

  

Maybe it was the mountain air (the very same that {probably} inspired Mr. Tolkien, might I add) but isn't this how it always is?

We have all these people who go before us in life: parents, siblings, friends, etc etc. and a lot of times we choose to follow in their footsteps, or at least keep an eye out where they are placing their feet.

This is great because there are probably many times where it keep us from tripping up too badly.

But maybe sometimes we also miss out or follow the path we’ve watched them walk without any thought.

Now I’m not advocating trailblazing in every aspect/situation because there were many many times I was thankful for our guide 

(I don’t doubt we would’ve gotten very lost without him)

And the same goes for my own life. I have been overwhelmingly blessed with hard-working parents and other great examples that have done everything to help me avoid the harder paths of life.

And I am so thankful for that.

It was just a really beautiful reminder to look up every once in a while even if it meant the risk of stumbling a little.

You’ll probably see something beautiful.

~one more thought about hiking~

Here’s the thing about hiking, I am not even sure what I love about it*

I mean, yeah the being outside in great Mother Nature does something nice for my soul, and ideally all those hours walking are spent to get a good view, but sometimes in the midst of lifting one foot in front of the other and slipping on your butt through moss and mud you’ve gotta question why you’re doing this to yourself.

please note slippery moss

I was thinking about this a lot (through gasps of air at the hardest parts)

And I think a big part of me just likes doing hard things.

But mostly only hard things that I decide to do.

Which explains a whole lot if you’re someone I love and have had to listen to me complain about taking pretty much any science or math class throughout my whole life.

But here’s the other thing. 

Whenever I finish something hard I am always convinced that I could go ahead and do it again, no matter how hard it is.

I think most humans do this, but why?

Denial of our own weakness?

Endorphin high that convinces us it really wasn’t that bad after all?

I don’t know, maybe.

But whatever it is, I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to pretend like any really hard thing I have to do is just like a hard thing that I actually chose to do.

I’ll let you know if I’m able to trick myself into this.

I want to apologize for the cliché and way overdone comparison of mountains and struggles and life lessons and blah blah blah

But let’s be honest, how many times have these been made?
way too many I can tell you that much

But people insist on making them because it is a good one

So sorry, but only a little

There have been plenty of challenges this summer. But the biggest ones haven’t necessarily been because I am Africa.

My biggest lessons have been because I’ve been forced to look at some of the serious weaknesses that I have. I’ve been pushed and pulled and tested.

Maybe I learned them at this specific time because I am in Malawi but I am convinced I would have had the opportunity to learn them no matter where I was, eventually.

Maybe that post will be next.

I am not quite ready to go home but I find comfort and peace in knowing that I was exactly where I needed to be this summer

And then, of course, there is the excitement of seeing my ultimate favorite humans and loved ones

That’s a pretty good trade

I know all of these ideas are notably less revolutionary than the creation of a new language/world/epic trilogy that inspired others who {probably} walked these same paths before me.

 but don’t worry, that’ll be next.

the best hiking buddy in all the land 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

*this statement is hilarious to anyone who has known me longer than 5 years or so because I am a pretty recent convert to nature-loving and would've never admitted to loving "walking through the dirt"

zambian adventures & an elephant-riding dream come true

Turns out Zambia has a whole lot to offer in the adventure department

I think I’ve flooded instagram and facebook enough by now to be pretty annoying but here is just a quick recap of our time in Zambia 

he is still working on growing in his mane

We went to an animal conservation (conservatory?) 

and petted/walked/hung out with lions and cheetahs and learned all about them and all the dreams I didn’t even know I had came true

We also got to watch them "run the cheetahs" and it turns out they really are pretty fast 

probably-not-drugged up but still incredibly well-behaved cheetahs

A lot of people have asked me if they were super drugged up and if that was the reason we could get so close and I have been thinking about it and am just going to say no even though I guess I am not 100% positive but the trainers were all super nice and great and at least from what I read they train them and take some of them to schools/other places to raise awareness about conservation and the others they release them back into the wild when they are ready.

So yeah I didn’t actually check for drugs but I’m going to guess no.

One of the other most important things to happen in my life is that I FINALLY GOT TO RIDE AN ELEPHANT

dreams comin' true right before your eyes

So I got to fulfill this dream as well (one that I was very aware I’ve always had)

It was everything I ever imagined/basically like riding a really fat and slow horse. Pretty neat.

Also the elephant handler said he thinks he has more in common with elephants than humans so that is pretty cool

One day I hope I find my spirit animal and can tell people I understand them more than humans

The next day we went to Victoria Falls which is every bit deserving of its one of the Seven Wonders of the World status

not even doing it justice

It is often called “the smoke that thunders” (something else in Chichewa but I don't remember and you don't really care) and is so loud and beautiful and you get completely soaking wet if you get anywhere near it

We started the morning off by taking a boat out to Livingstone Island and hanging out literally on the edge of the falls (as referenced to by both Aerosmith and these pictures)

can looking at waterfalls be a hobby?

There is a permanent rainbow and everything is green and beautiful and there were so many times that I just felt so thankful to live in such an amazing world

I don’t know how to write about all of this without bragging (slash humble bragging) or being annoying but also there are parts you shouldn’t be jealous about including but not limited to the 30-hour bus ride of doom between Zambia and Malawi.

But let’s be honest who wants to hear about that and when I am looking back on these I’d rather not be reminded about sitting in a sweaty, smelly bus for longer than should be legal

so instead i will share the good stuff (which there is so much of!)

ready to zipline across the most beautiful gorge you ever did see 

Not too much time left here (don't want to talk about it) but still lots more to write about

coming attractions include a 3 day hike and some of the most slippery moss i have ever encountered 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

p.s. sorry for the super narcissistic tendencies and 27 photos of my face but the other (cooler) pictures (that were not just of myself) won't load and i am out of patience
SORRY 

the first installment in the Beautiful Souls & the marriage advice i'll never forget

It is hard for me to put into words just how lucky I feel that I have gotten to meet and love and learn from the families here at SAFI*

while i still have some time left here in Malawi, the families are heading back to their homes across Malawi maybe even as I write this sitting in a hostel in Zambia

I have been blessed with a lot of really incredible people in my life.

sometimes I think way more than the average human should be allowed to have and I think the world (slash the three people reading this) deserves to know about them.

Also, I really want to have an excuse to write about a couple of these families

So I hereby declare this as the first installment of 

~The Beautiful Souls Club~

Rosemary & Alidson

The first word that comes to mind when I think of this family is love.

~Love and sunshine and laughter~

Rosemary is one the most vivacious, silly, loud, loving, hospitable jokesters I have ever met. She speaks English very well and loves to chat and practice with the Azungus. She loves to talk about different cultural practices and expectations 

ie “soooo, you would or wouldn’t date a black man?... You mean it isn't normal to breastfeed in public *whips out breast to feed child/demonstrate* like this?? This is weird or what? Why is your hair so tall? Do you use chemicals? Why is some hair black and some light?"

she is charismatic and beautiful and I think is probably friends with everyone she has ever met.

Alidson is one of the kindest men I know. He is accepting and loving and god-fearing and wise.  

They have been married for 13 years.

I was blessed to spend a handful of nights in their home. They made us food and sang us gospel duets and told jokes and entertained the constant stream of people who stopped by to see what all the ruckus was about.

I think what stands out to me the most, though, is their apparent love for each other. In a culture where men and women usually sit on opposite sides of the room, unfaithfulness is not uncommon, and affection is almost taboo, Rosemary and Alidson will openly gush about their love for each other.

One night while chatting with Rosemary we asked her what the secret was to a happy marriage. She gave us a knowing smile and mischievous laugh and said we would have to come back the next night so that her and Alidson could advise us since “he loves advising and is very wise"

We returned as eager students and sat on the floor of their home with Rosemary and Alidson and his two brothers. Their four children, Praise, Glory, Wonderful, and Desire**, climbed all over us and there was the usual stream of visitors to listen or add their two cents.

As we passed the the basin around to wash our hands before dinner, Alidson holds it up for Rosemary and pours water over her hands and then they switch and she turns to me with a huge grin on her face and says “this is what family is”

~how to have a happy marriage according to two people I would really trust on the matter~

The most important thing is to always be understanding…to talk about everything  and to forgive one another because we all have some faults and not as good parts but we can’t keep bringing them up. You just have to understand each other about everything and don’t bring up in the past things because we have to be able to forgive

Communication is the next most important thing—being best friends and always being on the same page and talking about all parts of your day. 

It is important to have the same desires {specifically aligning intimate desires because “some days the wife just might be too tired because she has so many things to do throughout the whole day and even though the man is always ready to be intimate he has to be kind and understanding”

                …and I know you are wondering how that wasn’t awkward to have a birds and          bees talk but it just wasn’t}

We talked about what it means to love someone and how you have to decide what kind of culture you will raise your family in because you can’t look to other families and be jealous or envious.

Alidson assured us that even though the man is the head of the family many people misinterpret that to mean that he is the boss, but actually the woman is the neck and he can’t look anywhere without her (he actually said that and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t quoting My Big Fat Greek Wedding). He reminded us that Jesus is the only real head of a marriage and both husband and wife must be God-fearing. 

But mostly I just loved watching them interact. Counseling with each other in Chichewa, deciding on an answer with lots of laughs in between and then translating an answer for us in English.

When asked what it means to love someone one of his brothers, Blessings, responded that “love is simply when you completely understand one another and do everything you can for each other to be happy”

Yes.

I know this is getting long and most people have probably stopped skimming by now but the second addition to the ~~Beautiful Souls Club~~ is actually one of Alidson’s brothers and his wife (I think they just have really great genes)

Dickson & Martha 

Modesta, Martha, Dickson, and Milika

 As part of our project we got to interview each of the families about their experiences at SAFI and the first time I knocked on their door, they were in the middle of lunch but instead of being annoyed at the interruption like most humans would be, they insisted that I join them. After we finished with the interview they sent me off with a huge bag of ground nuts as a gift. Small gestures but such a simple way to show kindness and love and hospitality

Dickson’s English is great and he invited me over often so that we could chat and practice. 

Martha speaks virtually no English but is the giggliest and happiest woman I have ever met. It took us a while to learn how to communicate with each other but after a while we figured out that we could just sit next to each other and put stickers on each other’s faces or dance together or just look at each other and laugh.

Their home is another that is full of love and acceptance and happiness and light. 

 At the end of our interview I always ask if there is anything they would like to add.

Dickson added a prayer for each and every person that had made SAFI possible. He said he knew that he and his family had learned so much and that they would be part of the changes that could help make Malawi self-sufficient. 

& it’s amazing because it is true

People like Dickson and Martha work so hard. They are proud of their successes and improvements and encourage everyone around them to live to a higher standard as well.

When I stopped by early in the morning to say goodbye they were waiting with another big bag of groundnuts and a list of contact info in case I am ever in Malawi again

I wish I had time and energy and space to write about every family we had the privelage of interacting with

Each and every one belongs in the Beautiful Souls Club

I am going to miss these families. Not just the two I mentioned but all of the homes that we got to visit and chat with and laugh in. I am going to miss the kids and their laughter and silliness and willingness to entertain us and play with us.

I have been thinking a lot about how sometimes I don’t really feel like it is super fair that we often have very fluid relationships, even with people who have great impact on our lives.

It makes my heart ache to think about all the people we will love throughout our time on earth and how rare it is that we will ever see some of them again

But then I got to thinking about the alternative...which is what? 

Never having met any of them? 

Not ever developing the relationships that I did?

Of course I don’t wish that

So I think that’s the lesson that I am learning. It is not that we can’t be sad when we part ways with people that we love—of course we can.

But more important I think it is just being thankful that Heavenly Father or the universe or coincidence or whatever you believe in brought us all together.

I know this isn’t revolutionary. 

And this isn't the first and definitely won't be the last time I say see ya later to people who mean a lot to me

But is has just been a good reminder in my life

Whatever we believe, I know I find comfort and excitement in the idea that we will all end up the same place, somewhere, someday and it will be a beautiful reunion.

head-hugging goodness

When I started this blog I didn’t intend for every post to be a sappy story about how much I just love everyone (honest)

There are a lot of other things going on as well (coming attractions include petting lions and walking cheetahs)

But when I look back and read these I want to be able to remember specific people and conversations

I want to be able to remember the love I feel so often and the light and warmth that emanates from these beautiful beautiful souls

I hope and pray that there will be a time in my life where my home is full of love and happiness and light and that I can turn to my guests with a smile and say 

“this is what family is”

*SAFI= Sustainable Agriculture for Family Independence.

Quick explanation if you care: Families spend one year at the school learning skills like crop production, irrigation, livestock, fisheries, agribusiness etc. They spend the next year back in their villages (families are chosen from all over the country) applying the skills they have learned in their home as well as (ideally) teaching their neighbors. 

Obviously it is a much more in depth and complex process and if you are interested in learning more let me know so we can chat about it

**in Malawi it is very common to name children after the first emotion that is felt after they are born. 

This results in a plethora of Happys and Blessings and Gifts. I think it is really beautiful and special and is something we should adopt in the U.S.

safari adventures, mice-eating fun, and dreadlocked friendships

lots of good stuff happening down here:

Blogging is hard when you are doing a lot of really cool things and even when you are not you probably don’t have internet. Catching up a little at a time & here is a picture of an elephant to start things off

do the elephant dance

~National Geographic-esque safari(s)~

We went to Liwonde National Park and went on a river safari which is basically cruising around on a boat with a really great guide who calls himself “Modern King” David*

The only thing I could think about the whole time was that it was like the riverboat cruise at Disneyland BUT SO MUCH BETTER. And we actually saw real alligators, which are my number one fear after serial killers.  And our guide was at least as funny as the Disneyland workers.
It was great

We camped that night right next to the lake after a very serious lecture about how we needed to be careful about having food in our tents/walking anywhere at night because elephants and hippos and rhinos and warthogs are known to wander through the campsite.

smiling until you have to hold your pee all night so you don't die 

I spent half the night worrying about the possibility of having to go to the bathroom because I was certain I would accidentally pee on an alligator/die if I had to leave the tent before dawn.

So I don’t think it gets any better than that.

The next day we went on a driving safari, which was unreal, and all I had to compare it to was the Indiana Jones ride BUT SO MUCH BETTER (sorrynotsorry for all the Disney references) 

We saw lots of monkeys (baboons! I was corrected many times for not using the right name) and hippos and warthogs (to which King David, would exclaim “what a BEAUTIFUL beautiful creature”) and more alligators (yaaay) and different type of deer things that I can’t remember the name of and pretty birds that I also can’t remember the name of but they were all amazing. 
King David also knew the exact appropriate time to make Lion King references, which I really appreciated.

hippo friend

We saw so many elephants and I probably got around 300 pictures and am a little bit embarrassed to show them all to anyone because how many elephant pictures are too many elephant pictures, you know?
But we got to see an elephant greeting ceremony and on our way around the corner we almost hit a huge one and it was this terrifying stand off and I thought for sure we were going to die because safari trucks are actually incredibly slow but he just ended up trumpeting at us (the coolest) and we snuck on by.  

After those experiences I realized that I am doing everything wrong with my life and should have gone to ranger school (which according to King David it is not too late!).

because seriously, look at this

Other neat-o things include eating lots of food with the bones/teeth/eyes still inserted

Which, yeah I know, most places in the world this isn’t even a little bit of a big deal but guys I was that girl who wouldn’t even eat a chicken leg because it had veins in it and now I am chowing down on fish heads (also taking silly pictures with them but c’mon LOOK AT THESE THINGS).
I wasn’t brave enough to eat the mice but a couple of the other girls were so let’s all give them a HUGE round of applause BECAUSE LOOK AT THESE THINGS (and maybe I’ll toughen up by the end of the trip but let’s not hold our breath)

kylie the rockstar 

i can't

playing with our food like immature children

My mother has always dreaded this day

I think mostly everyone knows of my love of dreadlocks and how really all I’ve ever wanted in life is to have a head full of dreads.

Well it turns out that I graduate in a year and have to be employable/need to keep my job now but I’m in Africa and how can I pass it up?!?!?!

So I compromised and just got one underneath my hair from some guys we met in the market.

It is an interesting balance that Nielle (my incredible and patient part-in-crime) and I are learning in how to be careful not to die/put ourselves in dangerous situations but also not to be so judgmental or suspicious of people that we assume the worst when really, they are awesome humans.

For example, when we were led to this weird alleyway mailbox area so that we could sit while they worked on my hair we looked at each other with suspicion and caution that our mothers would have been proud of. 

But after realizing we were still in plain sight and trusting our gut that we were safe we had an hour to chat and learned some really cool things.

#dreadsbyOsman

These are some fun facts that I learned about Osman:
-He has 5 nieces that he trades his art for school supplies for

-He wants to be a writer; when prompted he shared that he wants to write about people and politics and Malawian culture

-He thinks education is so important and is enrolled in secondary school for the fall (he is 25 and now has money to go back). He talked to me about how important education is especially for girls (guys I didn’t even ask a leading question to get this, promise) because it gives them more opportunities and choices and they are less likely to get married young.

There were so many other things.

I think these are my favorite types of experiences, though…getting a glimpse (or the whole thing if I am lucky) of people’s stories and lives through chance interactions (or carefully created ones like dreadlock-making).

It is a beautiful thing that we are able to do as humans to share little bits of our souls here and there and teach and learn and grow from and because of each other.

  

Lots more to catch up on so fingers crossed for more time/internet someday soon.

missing our favorite Chels, but sunset group picture at the lake/towel skirt  

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 *and just because I don’t want to forget how amazing he was he spent almost an hour that night chatting with us around the fire about religion and Malawi and America and let me wear his really sweet poncho and told us all the tricks on how to become a park ranger. So if anybody every comes to Malawi make sure you get this guy.